Local Circles: How to Run a Safe SOFU Meetup
Want to host a Society of the Fuck Ups Meeting? You absolutely can! Here are some guidelines and tips for running your own meetup.
Because S.O.F.U. is a decentralized, peer-led movement, there is no central planning committee assigning chapters or appointing official regional presidents. If you want to start a local meetup or a gathering in your hometown, you don’t need to ask for a permission slip—you just go do it.
A leaderless setup only survives if every member takes personal responsibility for protecting the safety of the circle. We want these gatherings to be grounding, honest, and completely safe sanctuaries.
To help ensure your local circle remains a secure spot to drop the mask, follow these five essential guidelines:
1. 📍 Keep it Small and Public
When starting out—especially if you are inviting people you connected with through independent digital channels—always pick a well-lit, public space. A quiet corner of a public library, a casual local park, or a public square is much safer than private residences.
Keeping your local groups small (a few people sitting on a lawn or around a table) is always better and more meaningful than a giant, unmanageable crowd.
2. 🤫 Strict Confidentiality
The absolute rule of any S.O.F.U. meeting is that whatever is said in the circle stays entirely in the circle. People need to know they can talk about life’s actual messes without their stories being leaked. Do not take group photos or post snapshots to social media unless every single attendee explicitly and actively consents to it. Protect each other’s privacy fiercely.
3. 🙅♂️ Focus on Sharing, Not Debating
Your local gather-ups should be an oasis from the noise of the world. Keep politics, religion, and societal debates completely out of the space. If a person enters a circle trying to argue, judge others over external beliefs, or enforce their own rigid worldview, they are missing the point of the movement. S.O.F.U. is about connecting over our shared human struggles, period.
4. 🚫 No Drugs or Alcohol
To maintain a safe, clear-headed, and grounded environment for everyone—especially members who are actively dealing with addiction or trauma recovery—all meetups must be completely substance-free. Avoid organizing circles at bars or places centered around substances. Keep it to coffee shops, parks, public halls, or art spaces.
5. 🎨 Try to Have Fun
S.O.F.U. meetups aren’t clinical group therapy sessions—we aren’t licensed doctors and we don’t pretend to be. These spaces are about building mutual understanding over our beautifully messed-up realities. Listen to music, trade zines or art projects, play board games, or try a creative craft together. It is completely fine to laugh, create, and be happy as a fuck-up.
S.O.F.U. Welcome Packet:
Current Post: Local Circles: How to Run a Safe Meetup
Are there any resources that would be helpful for you as a circle organizer? We are happy to make and provide them for you! Leave a comment below or send us an email hello@societyofthefuckups.com.